Waving his arms, he strode down the aisle, stuttering, and punctuated the notes on the written page. He brooded over the performers like a sheepdog, looking down at his score, cocking his head, traversing to one side, then the other, keeping the ensemble within the bounds of his creation.
He was meticulous, detailed, and forgiving, a thorough gentleman.
How amazing must it be to sit in the audience and hear your own creation come to life in sound?
Rehearsing for Friday Night's "Voices of Sacrifice" (excerpt here) performance in Harrisburg gave me an insight into the mind of the composer, into the mystical experience a writer like me never feels (unless I start putting together plays), of experiencing another's performance.
It must be crushingly, devastatingly joyful.
No event in my musical life has changed how I listen to music more completely. It's not just notes on a page. I knew that. But it's not merely an independent thing with a life of its own, to be interpreted by The Performer. For I'm just a performer. And as a performer, it's not just my duty to play the music or play it with feeling and expression. I should be as careful and prepared as I will be for the narration on Friday night. We understand authorship in poetry. But music carries this idea farther. The very life of the composer floats in the air of my melodies, passed into the music through the gift of intensity, joy, time, and blood of a passionate composer.
Haines smiles and stresses, keeping things in order. But I have no such luck. Order is beyond my reach. Too many assignments. I must write three ten-12 page papers in the next couple days, prepare for three concerts, write up a couple scholarship submissions, prepare a conference abstract, and submit my honors in the discipline proposal.
If I post at all until Monday, it will be a miracle.
In the meantime, it's Foucault, Foucault, Foucault.
Well, that and practice for my narration on Friday night. This is so amazingly exciting, I could... And now the news that they're going to be making an edited DVD of the event!